Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Pregnancy: Round 2 {27 week edition}

It's been about ten weeks since the last update and I've just reached the 27 week mark. (27 on the 27th! That's fun, right?) And the crazy part is: technically I only have another ten weeks until I'm considered full term (40 weeks is the actual finish line, but the baby will be fully developed at 37 weeks).

So rather than lament that this poor baby #2 isn't getting the weekly or monthly attention her big sister received, let's go with a Once a Trimester plan for updates. Yes! That was the plan all along! (as long as we aren't sticklers for real trimester dates...I'm saying 3 official updates at any point whatsoever = total win.)

 {19 weeks}
symptoms
First time: Main complaint was ab muscle pain- feeling like the baby might just tear through my skin and fall out. (spoiler alert: that never happened).
This time: The exhaustion has mellowed (though I won't turn down an afternoon nap if given the chance...why am I not given more chances?!) Heartburn has arrived in full effect, too, so I'm popping Tums and hoping it means this baby will have a beautiful head of hair to show for my trouble. Other than that though, I can't complain too much. Two weeks ago in fact, I was feeling pretty great, enjoying that second trimester sweet spot after the worst symptoms subside, and before the hugeness of the third trimester sets in. But then last week I had a couple of the worst days I've had this entire pregnancy (including the early days when I could barely pry myself off the couch in the evening). The baby seemed to grow dramatically, and my body was failing to keep up. She was squished in there, and the rest of my organs were displaced...and felt angry. My lungs were compressed, my diaphragm hurt, and my back ached. I couldn't sit or stand comfortably...my torso just seemed too small and too week to deal with this baby. I struggled physically, but it was worse emotionally. I couldn't take Piper to school (lifting her, plus lugging all of her gear just wasn't possible) and in the evening I struggled to even sit at the dinner table. One night it was just too much, and I told Dustin I had to just lay down. I spent the entire evening in bed, listening to he and Piper play, have bath time, and do the bedtime routine. It killed me to feel like I couldn't be the mom I wanted to be, and I ended the night crying. I was worried that if this is how I felt at 26 weeks, then I couldn't possibly make it another 14 weeks. I felt guilty for giving Piper less than my best, and for putting so much extra work on Dustin's plate. He assured me that they were both ok, and that I needed to do whatever it took to stay healthy and take care of this baby. He took on the brunt of the Piper-duty for the week, and after a few days I was feeling soooo much better. My body needed a little time to adjust, and my muscles needed a chance to grow stronger. It's hard to remember that in pregnancy, like in life, no stage is permanent. A bad day isn't forever, and a rough patch doesn't mean you're doomed until the end of time.

weight gain:
First time: about 15 lbs.
This time: about 15lbs. I'm encouraged that my growth is lining up with last time...it makes me worry less that I'm going to gain 125 pounds and have to be rolled into the delivery room. However: the pattern of growth seems very different than last time. With Piper, it was slow and steady...getting a little bit bigger every week (verrrrrry slow in the beginning, which I was thankful for). And this time, it seems my body has two settings that it remembers, and just jumps to them. I looked a good 3 months pregnant from day one. Then I grew gradually until 6 months or so, and BAM- baby doubles in size. Goodbye regular jeans. (and by "regular" I mean the non maternity, but 2 sizes up pairs I had been working with). I'm hoping that maybe the 
bright side is that I'll hold steady at this stage until the very end, when I will inevitably balloon up again. 

 {20 weeks}
cravings/aversions
First time: Not much. Some of the crazy hunger from the first trimester had returned though. 
This time: Nothing crazy....but I do still love to eat! For a while I missed the hunger from the early days...I wanted an excuse for more grilled cheeses!! But I truly wasn't that hungry for a while. Good news though- it's back! I try to pack a lot of snacks during the day, and I plan a little something at night after dinner or else I go to be starving.


movement

First time: Lots. Around this time, Piper started to run out of space so there was a lot of moving and shifting going on. 
This time: A lot! And I love it! I always thought Piper was a very active baby, but obviously had nothing to compare it to. Now, I think maybe that just how all babies are? Or at least all of my babies. This girl is wiggling constantly...I love to feel her kicking (most of the time...) and watching it is funny too. My favorite is when Dustin can finally feel it (I think that was around 20 weeks? But it's really easy now!) Mostly she gets active when I'm still...especially after I eat. And at night if I roll over too far from my side to my belly, she lets me know she's getting squished with some pretty forceful kicks.
{21 weeks}

I am loving
First time: Chatting with people about the baby (and keeping the gender a secret- fun but sometimes hard!)
This time: Piper was away recently for a week with my mom, and it was a really nice break. Sure, it was great to have a little time with less responsibilities, but in addition, it was fun to just be pregnant. The experience of being a pregnant mom is definitely different. Dustin has been fantastic in wrangling Piper while I attend to baby #2's needs (i.e. sleeping and eating a lot) but with all the activity surrounding a toddler, it's hard to be still and focus on this new little bundle with the type of focus that I had last time around. I'm not sure how much you can really bond with a fetus...but in the quiet moments of that time alone, I did have some "I'm so glad you're here" moments with my baby-to-be. 

I miss
First time: Sleeping on my back (technically a no-no)…or my stomach (an impossibility at this point.) I always thought I was a side sleeper…oh how wrong I was. 
This time: Beer. Delicious beer. Dustin recently got to brew his own beer with some friends and I was oh so jealous. And going on vacation without being able to have a nice drink on the beach? Not idea. Last time I was excited to get that baby out in time for pumpkin beer season. This time I'm fantasizing about delicious wheat beers on the deck, with a slice of orange. Oh yes. 
(And the sleeping? I pretty much sleep however is comfortable these days...which is...not much.)

spazzing about:
First time:  Getting everything done! I could hear the timing ticking by, and I worried that everything wouldn't be ready in time. 
This time: Ummmm, nothing? I'm sure that's not true, but I'm actually remarkably relaxed about this entire pregnancy. Last time I got obsessed with all the little details and preparation. This time....I'm just trusting that the baby will show up, and we'll go from there. I might even be a little too relaxed. I think there are a probably a few things to get done that I should feel a bit more urgency about. But I'll get to them. Maybe after a nap.
OH- but I'm more than a little worried that this baby will never have a name. That process...could be going better. "Baby B #2" is catchy right?
 
{23 weeks}
looking forward to
First time: Completing the nursery. I loved pulling together Piper's room. It was so fun for me to plan, and dream and create....and I'm still obsessed with the results.
This time: Having two little girls. Meeting this whole new person that has never existed before. We're having so much fun learning more about Piper's little (big) personality, and it's getting us even more excited to have another little lady in the house to love. Last time I was excited about a lot of the "stuff" that goes along with having a baby- I think mostly because I couldn't wrap my head around what it means to actually become a mom and meet your child. This time, that's the part I just can't wait for. 

{26 weeks}

Monday, March 25, 2013

A Word With You :: Green

The word "green" has a lot of uses in popular expression. When thinking about what I wanted to write about this week, I was torn in all different directions...so I'm just rolling with it, and giving you snippets of my thoughts. This is my brain on "Green":

Green thumb
There are some things in life that I am just not gifted at. Ok. A lot of things. But one of them for sure is gardening. I'm bad. Like, can't keep a potted plant alive. My yard is a hot, hot mess (in a bad way) with dead bushes everywhere, and weeds overgrowing anything that might still be living. Do I want a beautiful landscape around my home? Uh....sure! But do I have any confidence in my ability to create that? Nope, not at all. But beyond that, I really don't have a desire to become a gardener. (sorry, mom!) I see beautiful gardens, trellises, and veggie patches in magazines and Pinterest, and I clip/pin them for someday. But I'm starting to realize that unless something changes (like...I all of a sudden become "outdoorsy", and "not lazy"), that someday isn't ever going to come. 

Are you at home in a green house? Or does your thumb tend to skew towards black?

Greenhorn
You'd think after 16 months with a little one, as well as another 16 months of pregnancy, I'd feel like a pretty experienced mom by now. But you...would be wrong. Sure, there are things that are second nature to me now: I can diaper a screaming, flailing Piper without batting an eye, and I can hold a newborn without panicking that I'm in danger of snapping its neck if I move wrong. But there are other areas where I'm just as green as I was before becoming a parent. New moms, or moms-to-be often ask me things and I'm shocked about how much I don't know...or at least how much I've forgotten. I genuinely have no idea how often or how much infants are supposed to eat, and I'm terrible at reciting typical ages for common milestones like sitting up or sleeping through the night. I was hoping that muddling through raising our second child wouldn't be such a mystery to me but now I worry that it's not all going to come back to me, and I'll have to spend nights scrolling through my iphone searching for tips on the wild ride that is life with a newborn. 

The one thing that gives me hope (in a strange, backwards sense) is a friend of mine with five kids. (yes, FIVE!) asks me questions about parenting. It had been a few years since her last baby (twins!) and this was her first girl, so it's understandable that some things were new. But beyond that...talking with her made me realize that no matter how much experience you have...there may always be a sense that you're still new at this. I figure if she's still asking questions, figuring things out and trying new tactics, then I shouldn't be expected to have it all the answers either. Each new stage, and new child will come with their own unique challenges, and I'll likely feel like a rookie more days than not.

Are you still a greenhorn in an area of your life? Did you think you would have mastered it by now?

Green around the gills
There aren't many things that really turn my stomach. But I do have a few quirks... 
  • One- I can't deal with seeing or hearing people throw up. I'm sure that's not a rare feeling, but it flashes in my brain every time I go in a public restroom. The odds of someone being sick while I'm in there? Probably infinitesimal. But if I even see feet facing the wrong way, I'm out of there.
  • Two- as a kid, I refused to wear velvet. I told my mom it made my stomach hurt. I wasn't great at explaining it, but looking back I think it was the feeling of rubbing the grain of the fabric the wrong way that got me. It just sort of makes my hair stand on end. I can tolerate it now, but I still don't think I'll be dressing my girls up in velvet holiday dresses anytime soon.
  • Three- floral foam. Ugh. I can barely even type the words without getting all squeamish. The sound, but mostly the feeling of something poking into a green block of foam gives me the heebie jeebies. People at work know about it (hazard of the job- I do have to deal with foam every once in a while) and if they want to get me riled up they'll rub pieces together in front of me, or poke some with pencils. Jerks, I tell ya.
What makes you green around the gills?

The grass is always greener on the other side
I have a lovely life. A lovely life. But sometimes I think about what it would be like to do it all over again, and make completely different choices. Not because I don't like the life I've been given...just because it's fun to imagine what could have been. What if I studied abroad (I always wanted to go somewhere to work on my Spanish)? What if I had majored in physical education for children with disabilities (a dream I had in high school)? What if I had taken job offers in Minnesota or New York City after graduation?

It's crazy to think that changing any choice, big or small, could alter the course of my entire life. Trying out for the cheerleading team probably wouldn't affect the rest of my existence (or would it?) but had I not gone to Young Life camp for the exact assignment I did, I would have never met my husband (and then where would I be? Somewhere decidedly less "green" I'm sure.) I suppose it's less of a feeling that the other side would be "greener" and more about the curiosity of another side in general...whatever it may look like.

Do you have any greener pastures you wish you had explored? 

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Meg and I would love to have a word with you.  
Join the link up below to share your thoughts on "Green".
Then stop by some new blogs and say hello!

And we'd be delighted to have you join us next month. Our word for April :: Same
Link up will be Monday, April 29th.
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Friday, March 22, 2013

Goodbye my love...

Did you hear the news?

Google Reader. Is retiring.

Noooooooooo.....

NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

WHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!

Ok, I realize that to 98% of the world, my reaction is dramatic. Actually....98% percent of the world probably doesn't even know what I'm talking about. It's not exactly a necessity in life after all. But to a blog addict like myself (and probably you...), an online program organizing all my many (many) online haunts, is priceless.

The bright side to this RSS nightmare (draMAtic!) is that we have until July 1st to figure out a replacement. I'm currently searching for an alternative that I love to house all my web friends' feeds. If you have a system or site you like, please share in the comments!

And in the meantime, you can follow Bowdenisms on Blog Lovin'.


Piper is busy searching for suitable alternatives. (Or she's hopelessly engrossed
 in a farm animal app while I shamelessly mess with her hair...one of the two).

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Little Days: Big Appetite

Recently, my mom got the the chance to watch Piper for a bit, giving us a much needed break from the kiddo. And during Piper's stay, G'mi learned some first hand lessons about our girl: She's got a wild mane, a suspicious stare, and a ferocious appetite.

For real. This girl will eat you out of house and home. (where does she get it?!)

While Piper was away, my mom sent updates, along with some pictures, so we'd know everyone was doing ok. She also sent some pictures...apologizing: "Here are some of my favs! So many involve food ...just noticed!" But it was fine by me! I know that a well fed girl is a happy girl...and boy did our girl seem happy. Some highlights from her smorgasbord:


"Went to Wendy's for lunch. Piper ate a Jr cheeseburger but I forgot she doesn't like American cheese. (learned that with a grilled cheese). We peeled it off and she ate the meat and then the bun. Hmmm. Wasn't keen on the fries much until I bought a vanilla frosty and she dipped the SAME fry in over and over and sucked it until it was a mushy mess. Wouldn't let me give her a new fry!"


"I thought she would eat my dinner as she eats Chipotle, but no go. It had corn and beans and chicken etc but we went back to the meatloaf from last night. So here is my question- do you ever cut her off? She ate more meatloaf than Vern and I put together. She just keeps asking for more!"
 

"At the store we picked out frozen mini pancakes and she HAD to hold them and would not let me scan them~ no no no~ I finally did and she then had to hold them the whole way home!"
"She "cooked" in the kitchen while I made dinner which was so cute. 
Vern came home and she wanted papa to taste it. He is just smitten!" 
And from the last email:
"Piper just stood on the scale by herself! 22.4 lb Should I cut out the midnight buffet?"

And deny us that cute that little buddah belly she's working on? No way. Seconds for everyone!


::today i'm linking up with the scribble pad for her little days series::

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Show Your Real: Amanda

I've been a reader of Amanda's blog Kicky Boots, for what feels like....oh...maybe a million years? But that must be in blog time. In regular time it's probably only about five years. (which on the Internet, is a lifetime, am I right?) 

On "paper" (webpage paper?) it doesn't really make any sense how I even started following her in the first place. When I found her through a "friend" of a "friend" (read: other people I don't actually know) she was a stay at home mom of one, living in Canada, and I was a working gal (how often do you get to use the word gal? Not enough!) in Pittsburgh. We didn't really have much in common...at least on the surface...But for some reason I just felt connected to her. She's a great writer, but most admirable to me, is how open and vulnerable she's willing to be about her life. She's shared insecurities as a mom, struggles with weight loss, and just generally let us all into her real life. No fake persona. No sophisticated airs. Just a real girl making a life in an apple orchard with her husband (and eventually baby girl after baby girl). 

I mean- this is her "about" page...how can you not love her?
My name is Amanda and I started writing here six years ago, before I had kids and before Twitter came and wrecked everything. A lot has changed since then: I now have three daughters (Avelyn, Karenna and Brinley), a brand new career in real estate, a somewhat reluctant Twitter account, and I am still happily holding hands with my lanky farmer of a husband, Steve. I can’t keep my house clean, my children always look just a little feral, and I don’t do crafts. I like boot camp, anything involving bread or cheese (hence, the need for boot camp), dance parties with my girls in our messy living room, Modern Family, thrift stores and mochas. I am a firm believer in keeping it real. 
When I started this series, Amanda was one of the first people I thought of, because her heart and her style so perfectly match the mission I have in mind for Show Your Real. I sent her a fangirl email, and to my surprise, she agreed to participate. I'm so happy to have her sharing with you all today.  



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Have you ever seen Facebook status updates like these?

"I just sleep-trained my six day-old baby and now she peacefully sleeps for 18 hours a night! Whoever said motherhood was hard must not have been as good at it as I am! Lol!"

"Stayed up till 3 am making homemade fondant for Johnny's cupcakes for his class birthday party tomorrow! Feels good to be a super mom! Have to run and take photos of them with my new professional lighting equipment and post them to Pinterest asap!"

"My husband is the best! After he massaged my feet for an hour, he surprised me with a dozen roses and a $50 Starbucks gift card. I love him, love him, love him!! Someone's getting lucky tonight!"

I kind of want to punch those people in the neck.

It's not that I'm a bitter old hag who is against strong marriages, happy babies and talented cupcake-making mommas, but I just get tired of how messages like that can create so much pressure for us to present a glossy, artificial veneer of perfection to everyone for fear of not measuring up, for feeling less-than, for thinking ourselves failures. 

There is so much power in being true, in that moment when you open up to someone and show them what's really in your heart. We all want to look good, to make it appear as though we've got it all together. But I have found that when we are honest about our life and are willing to admit the areas we struggle in, that's when we are able to truly connect with people and find real community, support and love.


So you want real? I'll show you mine if you show me yours:

1. I think that being a mom is hard. Being a good wife is hard sometimes, too. Keeping my house clean is hard. Balancing work and life and kids and friends is hard. Basically, I think being a grown-up is hard. I love my kids, my husband, our home, our life, but it takes a lot of energy and patience and commitment to keep it all going. I battle selfishness and exhaustion every day. 

2. My house is a MESS. Like, it's really bad a lot of the time. 

3. We suck at family dinner. Often I throw eggs and toast at the kids at 4:00 to keep them quiet, then I'll give my husband an equally lacklustre dinner when he gets home an hour later.

4. I am tired a lot. 

5. The kids watch too much TV when they get home from school. 

6. I often wonder if I'm doing a good job of being a mom. Raising little people is an enormous undertaking and I spend most of my time feeling as though I am hanging onto the end of my rope by a single, fraying thread.

7. We are often late for school, church, you name it. 

There you have it! And that's just the tip of the iceberg. 

I don't think it's good to wallow in all the ways we are less-than-perfect, but I try my best to be real, to celebrate the good and not just focus on the bad, to extend grace to myself and others, to live in thankfulness and wonder at the God who made this life, and to realize what its His strength that sustains us.
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Show Your Real is a bi-weekly series of guest posts centered around the concept of authenticity. The goal is to encourage each other to expose the reality of our lives- good and bad- and to foster a sense of community that goes beyond the often suface-cy interactions of social media. We invite all of you to participate! Please comment, link, and hashtag to spread the showyourreal love. If you would like to contribute a guest post in this series, please email me! 

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

A Word With You :: Green

Sorry for the delay on announcing this month's word. We're three months in, and I'm already losing track! But don't worry, there's still time to be a part of this month's link up.

Our word for March :: Green

Third verse, same as the first: no rules, just write something that ties in with this month's word in some way. On Monday, March 25th, we'll host a link up so that you can share your word with us!



Check out other Word With You editions:
(make sure to scroll to the bottom to see posts from all of the participants)
January :: "Direction"
February :: "Ordinary"

And feel free to spread “the word” on twitter and instagram: #awordwithyou, and grab a button for your sidebar:

bowdenisms
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Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Show Your Real: Julie

I officially met Julie at the Influence conference last year...I technically sort-of knew her through the friend of a friend, but that didn't matter. Julie's one of those people who will embrace you like she knows you from the minute you meet her, no matter what. And when I say "embrace"...I mean it. She'll wrap you up in a big "aren't we friends already?" kind of hug, and then continue to love you with her big open heart. 

Julie is a mama to an adorable little boy Levi, runs a lovely online shop of her handmade beauties, and shares shares her life in a beautifully real way on her blog One Simple Red Stitch. She inspires me constantly just by authentically being who she is- a dance party hosting, arms-out worshiping, self-reflective writing, delight of a woman. Oh, and I'm super jealous of her shampoo commercial worthy hair. I'm thrilled to have you all see a little bit of her today.
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hi friends... i'm julie & i blog at a little place on the interwebs:: one simple red stitch {formerly: green eggs & hammes...}

when courtney started this series on showing your real, i was thrilled. it can be so easy for us to look out over the internet & the blog land and imagine all of these bright colored homes, chippy wood furniture pieces, madewell dressed women & hipster dressed babies to be the only part of the lives of the people we read. that their shops are all super successful, they love Jesus, and that they have found that perfect balance in life. at least on most days. instagram (mine included, i won't lie) is plastered with early-morning scriptures and a nice anthro mug of hot coffee right alongside it. it's pretty. but i'm sure it can be both encouraging and discouraging. i know that there are misconceptions out there about my life. and for sure i have misconceptions about yours. 

when courtney asked me to contribute to this series, i was super excited! i'm ready! let's get real. but as i sit down to write, i am realizing that i'm not exactly the person who people ask "how do you do all the things?!" ... because i don't. i don't do all the things y'all. i am a recovering people pleaser, who is becoming increasingly better at saying no. better at setting boundary lines for myself. better at, frankly, ticking a few people off in the process. and not feeling the need to explain myself, or over apologize for it all. it's not easy for me, but i'm working on it. 

so, how can i get real with you?

i've been married for 6 years to my best friend, and i am a stay at home mama to one little beautiful boy. my husband and i have a really good marriage, and we work hard at it. we date, we don't watch much TV, and we love being together. i love my son to pieces and i love staying home with him. it's been my dream for as long as i can remember. to be a wife. to be a mama who stays at home. 

there's the pretty part. the good part. and it is real. but, you know. there's more than meets the eye.


my husband is my best friend:: but we are polar opposites. he leaves me notes in the morning, yes. you'll sometimes see them posted on my instagram. they're sweet and heart-felt. but... he does that because i've asked him to. i've told him that a little yellow sticky note on the bathroom mirror in the morning is more important to me than all the roses in the world. makes no sense to him.... neither does hugging every 10 minutes, i can't imagine why... but he does these things for me.
what you don't see are the reminders on his iPhone to do these things for me. because they do not come naturally to him. i used to take issue with this, but i don't anymore. he's trying. he doesn't read my mind; i have to ask him for what i want him to do. and vice versa. this is how our marriage is working. by talking it out {sometimes loudly talking it out. ah-hem} 

my son is adorable. he is precious and fun to be around. he has this really cute little voice. sometimes i'll write out his "quotes" online... but you must understand: he didn't call me mama until about 6 months ago. right before he turned 3. his speech delay is one of those things i never thought i'd struggle with as much as i do. and because i struggled with it so much, i didn't write about it often. it seems silly, i know... because it may even be "normal" for boys to not talk until this age. but it is difficult. i see my mama friends conversing with their kids... having real life conversations with their kids, and i crave it. oh to be able to ask your child what he needs, what he wants, and have him respond! it's getting better, and i know he will get there. but for a long time, it was this constant every day battle. every word, every request, every tantrum:: what is it? how do i coax it out of him? what does he need? is this normal? is he normal?? it was tiring and trying and discouraging at best. the fact that i tend towards worrying doesn't make things easier. i found myself annoyed at friends complaining of their talkative toddler. 'if they only knew!!' i would think. but now... i understand now, friends. i do. levi is talking a lot more, and currently, my biggest day-to-day question is "how much is appropriate and/or healthy to ignore your toddler's constant request for 'mommy' on a given day?" ... so, there's that.

at this point in life, my son is an only child. but i never anticipated life looking this way. we have lost 3 babies to miscarriage in the past 2 years. i've written pretty extensively about the miscarriages on my blog. i haven't for a little while recently, mostly because i don't want to be a debbie downer. but in reality... it continues to be the hardest thing i've ever endured. every day i miss them. i'm thankful for the people in my life that i can call on any given day and cuss and scream and cry with. i need them. i need that outlet. 

people have told me how 'strong' i am to have gone through all of these losses, and still trust God as much as i still do. while i am thankful to be on the other side of this with, it's true, more love for Jesus than ever before... i cringe to think that people assume i have walked through this gracefully. i haven't done it gracefully. i only am thankful for the grace in it. because that is what was required for this woman to make it through those seasons... and much grace is required to even consider walking forward and trying to have more babies again. it has been one ugly day after another at certain points.


the truth is:: if you met me, you would see a fiery redhead with a big smile and loud laugh. i am a generally very happy person. i think a common misconception is that because i'm a happy, thin, married mother who loves Jesus: that i don't really struggle. that i don't have anger issues. (i do.) that i don't struggle with body image issues. (i do.) that my husband and i don't have really nasty arguments. (we do.) that i don't lose my cool with my son. (God help me.) that i don't have the need to "get the heck out" every other day. (i love you panera, with your couches and coffee and free wifi.) that just, in general, i don't have some serious stuff that every day needs to be brought before the foot of the cross. i think there's even sometimes a misconception that because i'm honest and open about these things, that i have something that you don't. or that because i still have joy in the midst of all of these crazy things: that i am lying, or faking it. and it's all just completely untrue. 

look at the laundry piles around you... you know, the ones that have been clean for a week... and know that i have that same pile, too.

the child, who is screaming & (half) sitting in time out. mine is in the same place. 

i'm the woman at your church... the one who sings in the front and possibly you think she has confidence for miles:: but she struggles too. the reason she is so happy to worship Jesus is because He has shown up in her despair and her triumph and has ministered to her in a real way through all the seasons. it doesn't mean she has it all together:: it means she is desperate for a beautiful God to come and be with her every minute.

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Show Your Real is a bi-weekly series of guest posts centered around the concept of authenticity. The goal is to encourage each other to expose the reality of our lives- good and bad- and to foster a sense of community that goes beyond the often suface-cy interactions of social media. We invite all of you to participate! Please comment, link, and hashtag to spread the showyourreal love. If you would like to contribute a guest post in this series, please email me! 

Friday, March 1, 2013

Name Dropper

Admit it. 

You've googled yourself. 

No? Really?

Well I have. I don't check on it every day or anything, but once in a while, I like to pop my moniker in that search bar to make sure there are no Courtney Bowdens out there sullying my good name. 

A few years back the top results for my name all involved a romance novel reviewer. Apparently she had made quite the career out of reading smut and passing her opinions on to the Fabio-loving masses. My romance-loving alter ego somehow came up at my last book club meeting, so I attempted a search to show the girls what I was talking about. But strangely enough...at this point the top results are actually me. Sure there's a car dealership or two, and at least one roofing company....but a bunch of the links are actually yours truly. So it turns out I'm the main person sullying my good name. Score!

But I wasn't interested in checking out my linked in profile, or pinterest account (though I did get a kick out of seeing one of my old college projects profiled- check it- I use the word "laborious")...


...I wanted to see what the rest of the Courtney Bowdens were up to. I didn't find a ton beyond the typical white-pages/stalker-helper sites, but there were a few gems: 
  • Interested in 7+ minutes of my Asian name-twin killing it in (what I presume to be) the 7th grade orchestra? Oh, you're in luck then
  • In need of a refresher course on the life and times of Dr. Seuss? Courtney Bowden's got you covered. (I especially appreciate her unconventional use of type, space, color...and complete disregard for possible motion sickness amongst her viewers. Bold choices, Court!) 
  • Oh- and Courtney Bowden makes a mean Apple Pie. Bonus: It's easy...like her! (Or so her "recipe photo" would lead me to believe...) 
Who knew there were so many Courtney Bowdens out there...with such a wide variety of talent? 

And now that I was in it...I just had to know...What would a google images search hold? 
Answers include:
  • Several pregnant bellies (none of them mine)
  • This shot (which I'm pretending is mine...why else would it come up?)
  • And about a million pictures of Katrina Bowden (who must deal with constant pictures of me coming up when she googles herself, poor girl.)
And just for fun I tried googling my maiden name. One of perks of an obscure name? Almost all the results are actually me. Or at the very least, my sister or cousin. So there wasn't much hilarity to be found. But thankfully, I stumbled upon this gem: 


A thank you letter my mom wrote to my orthodontist's office, in which she states, "I feel as if I’m in a nice spa!" I can't (and wouldn't) make this stuff up!

So for some Friday Fun, I invite you to google your name, and come back to the comments to share the best (or funniest...or scariest?) results...I can't wait to see what all your aliases are up to!