Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Show Your Real: Christina

When Christina and I met a few years ago, it seemed unlikely that we would be friends. Not because she wasn't a friendly, lovely woman...(she was, and is) but because on paper our lives were drastically different. She was a stay at home mom of 4. (Yep- four...all boys). And I was a working woman with no kids. She's in her 30's, from Pittsburgh, a devout Catholic, who scrapbooks, writes a cooking blog, and uses phrases like Oh my stars! (Me: a 20 something, Ohio bred, non-denominational Christian who hasn't printed a photo in 5 years, shares recipes mostly for comedic effect, and tends towards slightly more colorful phrases.) I say all this not to tease her, but just to illustrate the “boxes” I tend to put people in when first meeting them. Nothing against her at all....I assumed we'd get along fine at book club, but probably wouldn't relate much outside of that.

And for a while, I was right. But then I got pregnant. And guess what! So did she (yep- again). And our relationship began to change. She became so helpful for advice, but what I found surprising was she also came to me for advice. It had been a few years since her last baby and she had never had a girl. We started exchanging Facebook messages, sharing helpful links, and sending encouraging texts. We followed each other blogs and celebrated the mini miracles of mom-ing newborns.

God has taught me through our friendship. Not only through the wisdom Christina has showed me directly, but also just the concept that it's not so much what we do, that helps us to form bonds (though that helps) it's how we do what we do. Christina has a beautiful heart, and thoughtful spirit that I can (and do!) learn from...even when my life experiences don't match hers. Our relationship illustrates the Show Your Real concept so well- seeing how someone else lives, and being inspired, humbled, and humored, even if it's very different from your real. I'm so thankful to have her sharing with us today.


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I was getting ready to share my REAL with everyone this week and thought it would be fun to take a little trip down memory lane and see how real I've been in the past 7 years of my blog. I started this whole adventure into blogging when I was tired of just reading all these other cool scrapbooking blogs (that was my entry into the blogosphere) and thought, why can't I do this blog thing?


So I just dove in head first and here I am still. A little less frequent than I would like to be but still working on getting down onto "screen" my thoughts/feelings/meanderings/adventures that I take with my family. My blog has been my way of holding onto those fleeting (oh.so.fleeting) moments of raising kids and all of my little interests/hobbies that I try and tackle along the way.


When Courtney started talking about showing your real, I was all in for whatever she had planned. I like her ideas and her fashion sense. I feel sometimes that I have so much real to share that there's just not enough space and time and minutes in the day to jot any of it down. Then there's the side of me that is hesitant to put too much out there on the inter webs because as my kids get older, there's this certain aspect of privacy and being too real with too many people. I don't know. It's a balance, a fine line, etc etc. I cherish the IRL (in real life) friendships that I have and have fostered and I'm cool with being transparent and honest with them. I think I have the balance thing down okay. HOWEVER, blogs can get a little too shiny and perfect sometimes and I certainly don't want to be that blogger. I DO want to share that life is messy and chaotic but beautiful and worth the sacrifices none the less.


All that to say, here goes my real.






This guy has been my roommate, my love and my rock for almost 13 years now. We entered into the sacrament of marriage on December 30, 2000- it was the most wonderful day of my life despite the cold and ice.


At our wedding reception, jokes were made about how many kids we would have one day. The numbers 7 (my favorite number) and 11 (Mr. Crafty's favorite number) were thrown out there! egads, eleven is quite a lot! In all honesty, I did want to have a big family. It was fun to talk about and easy to let those words just spill from my mouth. While neither of us grew up in large families we started our marriage trusting in what God wanted to do in and through us. We were open to life and would see what that entailed.

"We must begin with love, continue with love, and end with love"


-St Francis de Sales

Now here we are, 10 1/2 years into this parenting gig and I'm over half way through my 5th pregnancy- awaiting the arrival of our newest family member... baby number SIX in September! (confused? I had twins)

I am having my sixth child.


When I say that out loud, I laugh internally. REALLY LOUD. Loud enough that I think someone hears the banter and guffawing in my head.


Why am I laughing? Well, I guess it has something to do with the fact that even though I said all those things about having a big family all those years ago, I had NO IDEA that would/could/might ever happen to me.


Apparently I'm fertile.


That said, I have never taken my fertility for granted. We have always remained open to life whenever God would choose to open or close the womb. So after number one was born.... I didn't just expect a number two and then when I was pregnant with TWINS, well, then, I thought God was hilarious and just wanted to see how big of a challenge I could handle.


Nowadays, God and I have some really REAL conversations. My youngest, number 5, is 15 months old as this goes to press. SHE is a doll. I love her to bits and pieces and she melts my heart a gazillion times a day with her funny little looks and sweet kisses and all that jazz.


But man, cute or not, this parenting thing is hard stuff!
I cry (pregnant or not) at least 3x a week because I stink at parenting or because one of my kids told me they hate me. boo
I pray every.single.day for control over my tone/words/temper and fail every.single.day and beg God to give me another chance to do better tomorrow.
I laugh out loud at something one of my twins has said every day because they're hysterical.
There is not one day that goes by that I'm not trying to figure out what to feed someone or multiple someones. I try hard to plan meals and all but sometimes a book/blog/walk/insert whatever else I procrastinate with gets the better of me and then I'm all "CRAP, it's 3:15! They're coming home soon!!!!!"
Disciplining toddlers is NOTHING compared to disciplining these 8 and 10 year olds. The words sneaky, cunning, sassy and suspicious come to mind. A.LOT.

And then I see things like this baby girl's smile and go... right, God, you totally made me for this job and I know YOU know what you're doing, so I'm going to have to trust that if YOU KNOW what you're doing, that you're going to send down buckets of grace and mercy on me to get through this, right?

("you bet, Crafty" -God (He's cool like that and calls me Crafty))



When I figured out I was preggo with baby #6 I was a mix of emotions: ecstatic, scared, bewildered, thankful, scared, frustrated, happy. I guess the pregnancy hormones hit me early with this one.


So yeah, all those emotions and then the big ones that crept into my head: what will people think/what are they going to say/how am I going to answer them now?!?!


When we were expecting Sophia we were already THAT big family. We had gone above and beyond the call of duty by having yet another baby after 4 boys! People would ask me WHILE I was pregnant with #5, "so are you done now?" or "Do you think you'll have more?" or my absolute fave "Are you crazy?!?!?" (by the way, they're still asking that question with #6!).


My response has always been something along the lines of "WHO are YOU to ask, it's none of your business!?!?!" LOL


I jest. But really, I get it. We are definitely a rare breed over here. Large families are certainly not the norm these days.

So how did I beat those thoughts out of my head? I reminded myself as I MUST do daily, that it doesn't matter what our families think or our neighbors or the lady at the checkout at Target. What matters most in life is how faithful we are to God and His plan. How obedient we are to trusting in His plan for each of us.


It's scary. It's a HUGE unknown. Most days I wake up thinking... again? dinner, dishes, laundry, diapers, arguments, cajoling into doing chores... AGAIN?!?!?


And then God reminds me, "yes, Crafty, I put up with all your idiosyncrasies and your unfaithfulness and your arguing. So just love them through me and let me love you more each day." (now, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat a gajillion times a day to self)




While I love to read and hear what God has to say to me and find encouragement, daily from God's word, our new Pope is rocking my world lately with his awesomeness. And this GEM of wisdom from last week's homily on Pentecost Sunday gave me so much hope, encouragement and fervor in living out my vocation...

Pope Francis reflecting on that scene in Acts chapter 2:1-11


Newness always makes us a bit fearful, because we feel more secure if we have everything under control, if we are the ones who build, programme and plan our lives in accordance with our own ideas, our own comfort, our own preferences. This is also the case when it comes to God. Often we follow him, we accept him, but only up to a certain point. It is hard to abandon ourselves to him with complete trust, allowing the Holy Spirit to be the soul and guide of our lives in our every decision. We fear that God may force us to strike out on new paths and leave behind our all too narrow, closed and selfish horizons in order to become open to his own. Yet throughout the history of salvation, whenever God reveals himself, he brings newness and change, and demands our complete trust: Noah, mocked by all, builds an ark and is saved; Abram leaves his land with only a promise in hand; Moses stands up to the might of Pharaoh and leads his people to freedom; the apostles, huddled fearfully in the Upper Room, go forth with courage to proclaim the Gospel. This is not a question of novelty for novelty’s sake, the search for something new to relieve our boredom, as is so often the case in our own day. The newness which God brings into our life is something that actually brings fulfilment, that gives true joy, true serenity, because God loves us and desires only our good. Let us ask ourselves: Are we open to “God’s surprises”? Or are we closed and fearful before the newness of the Holy Spirit? Do we have the courage to strike out along the new paths which God’s newness sets before us, or do we resist, barricaded in transient structures which have lost their capacity for openness to what is new?



Amen to that and that and that and that.

Having 1, 2, 4, 6 kids is most definitely scary. As each child is born into our family we realize more and more how little control we have of the situation. And yet God reveals himself in each of these little people in our home. He fortifies my calling to motherhood and the tremendous task of raising these children for HIM. He shows me what complete trust in Him can do to transform my heart, mind and soul. It can even help me work through the chaos of the hours between 3:21-8:00 pm (feel free to stop on by and be a fly on the wall for THAT realness).


I could write paragraphs on all the nitty gritty ins-and-outs of my day and how I manage to get through each one alive with a husband who works in the LOOOONG hours of the car biz. ha! (a little pinot grigio and Blue Moon helps, no?) But really and truly it all comes down to me being open to God's plan for each day, surrendering my wants and desires and selfishness and letting His wants and desires take the lead.




"You..can never fail. You haven't failed; you've acquired experience. Forward!"
--St. Josemaria Escriva



Do you know that line that St. John the Baptist uttered, "he must increase, so I must decrease". yeah, that.



I'm not braver than the mom next door. Most days I'm scared out of my wits and just want to curl up with a book and a cup of tea.


I'm not supermom but I try to bless my kids through the talents I have and that just comes out in cookies, crafty stuff and homemade muffins from time to time.

I fully believe God blesses some of us with one kid, some of us with many and some of us with none because He knows exactly what we need to get to heaven. The children and husband I have are my tickets there. They're transforming my very rough exterior and even rougher interior into the image of God.

I am a wife, mother and daughter who just wants to be holy and I do that through my own messy means of muddling through the day-to-day grind and leaning heavily upon grace.

that's my real.


be encouraged.


"The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake- you can't learn anything from being perfect." ~Adam Osborne



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Show Your Real is a bi-weekly series of guest posts centered around the concept of authenticity. The goal is to encourage each other to expose the reality of our lives- good and bad- and to foster a sense of community that goes beyond the often suface-cy interactions of social media. We invite all of you to participate! Please comment, link, and hashtag to spread the showyourreal love. If you would like to contribute a guest post in this series, please email me! 

Monday, May 27, 2013

This face

I'm still mastering my 50mm lens (it's awesome...but not foolproof) so these aren't perfect, but she sure is.




(Oh...and I also can't get enough of this face:)


Happy Memorial Day! Enjoy it with the faces you love.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Limbo

I'm 35 weeks pregnant now, and as I started to put words to this point in our lives, the phrase that came to mind was "in limbo". To me, that meant we've got one foot in both worlds. I'm still pregnant, but we can't necessarily count on that for much longer. Any day now could be "baby day" (yes, it would still be a little early, and after Piper's 3 day late arrival, I'm not exactly expecting this baby to be in any hurry...but still...it's possible.) But then again- I might have another five-plus weeks of gestating to do. Who knows?

So I guess we're in limbo. We might have another month. We might have another day.
But it's more than just the uncertainty of my state that has my heart divided. It's the nature of being pregnant overall. Because I love being pregnant. And I hate being pregnant. Mostly I love it. I love feeling swirls and kicks and even the concessional jab, as my little houseguest gets comfy. I love thinking and planning and dreaming of what this new little being is going to be like. But sometimes I hate it. I hate being hot, and swollen, and tired. OH so tired. I hate having heartburn, not being able to sleep, and the fact that it takes me five minutes to get back up from playing on the floor with Piper.

So I'm in limbo. I'm savoring this time as someone's round the clock provider, but I'm anxious to have my body back as my own.



As I pondered this weird time period, it feels to me that it's passing both at warp speed and in slow motion. Another month of pregnancy will feel like a blink, and a lifetime, depending on when you ask me. The ups are so high, and the lows can be so low, I started to think of it as more of a teeter-totter, than a limbo. Which lead me to look up where the phrase actually comes from. I was surprised to learn it's a religious term, referring to a place in the afterlife which is neither heaven nor hell- a place reserved for unbaptized babies  This isn't a doctrine I'm very familiar with, and it certainly isn't one I'm endorsing, But it does make the secondary definition of the phrase make more sense to me- "in an indefinite state; on hold". I knew what it meant in an abstract way, but I kept connecting it to the concept of the limbo, as in- the game you play at kids' luau themed birthday parties. Bending over backwards, challenging yourself to squeeze under the prescribed measure of success....That may not be what "in limbo" means, but it's still a pretty good metaphor for pregnancy. This is, after all, backbreaking work at times, and I'm constantly feeling the limits of what I'm able to do. There's no way my body can do that. No way I'll be able to meet that goal. No way I can make it one more round, challenging myself any more.

So I guess I'm in limbo, while doing the limbo. Not ready to be done yet, but also not always sure I can keep going. I'm in a transition, knowing that this time is fleeting, and soon the newborn days will take over (there's no limbo about that. It's more of an all in, all consuming, infinite-spinning-plates type of challenge). So as the past and future compress on each other in this "indefinite" place, I'll just keep going. I'll put on my lei, and shimmy my giant belly under the tiki stick one more time, knowing that the pain, and the risk of falling are worth it to know that I did it. And I'll try to remember that the worst thing that happens is I knock the bar over and have to try again. And most importantly, I'll remind myself that for better or worse, the game doesn't last forever, but at the end: there are mai tais.


Monday, May 20, 2013

Once (Or Twice...Or Infinity) Upon a Child

Confession:  I'm addicted.

Something has a hold of me, and try as I might, I just can't shake it.

My mind is consumed...

Weekends are spend pursuing my craving...

I spend money to feed the beast, but nothing seems to fully satisfy the need...

I get more and more, and it's still not enough...

The rumors are true:

My name is Courtney, and I am a baby-clothes-a-holic.
Whew. I feel better already.


When Piper was born, I tried really hard to be reasonable. I barely bought anything before she arrived (even though we knew she was a she...which required extra resistance to avoid splurging on adorable dresses). And when she was little, I still kept my spending in check, appreciating all the beautiful gifts people got us.

As she grew out of the 3-6 month stage it became a little more necessary to stock up on some outfits, but I still had a pretty practical mindset. We knew we wanted more kids someday, so any purchase would hopefully not be a waste, but without knowing the gender of hypothetical future kids (and keeping in mind they were in fact, still hypothetical) I tried to buy only the necessities, and keep it as gender neutral as possible.

I believe "tried" is the key word there.

I think there is a baby shopping gene, and I have inherited it (from my mom's side, if we want to start the finger pointing). Though I made effort to be practical, I could feel myself getting sucked in to the teeny tiny world of baby fashionistas.



And I have to be honest- now that we are actually having another baby, and that other baby is a GIRL, the wheels have pretty much fallen off. I can rationalize pretty much every shopping trip, dividing the cost in half because surely I won't have to buy anything for the next baby. All of my Piper Purchases now can serve double duty! It's silly not to stock up!!

I kid, slightly. I'm not to the level of needing an intervention. Our bills haven't gotten out of control, I can still fit all of Piper's wardrobe in her closet, and she actually wears at least  75% of everything I've amassed over the last year or so. (That's good, right?!) But I do at least realize it's a pretty silly obsession. I'm not one of those moms that needs my child to look perfect, in brand new duds every day. But I am one of those moms that can't walk away from a sale bin of shoes, regardless of how many nearly identical pairs she already owns. (We've come a long way from the days of a search for a few solid pairs...and then again...we haven't).


It's truly not about showing off, or presenting some sort of perfect image to the world. It's really just that I'm kind of obsessed with grown-up fashion shrunk down to little bitty sizes. And animals on butts. And footie pajamas. If you're under 3, I can't get enough of that stuff. I don't buy things to dress her up and parade her like a doll. I buy things to dress her up and eat her up with a spoon she's so cute. But no, I don't hate that she looks presentable for the daily photo ops I force her into.

So yes, I probably buy Piper a few too many outfits. She probably doesn't need another pair of jeggings (though truth be told:  they are the only truly fool-proof option for the mornings Dustin dresses her-which is nearly always-so backups are helpful). We could probably get by with less, do a bit more laundry, and stop caring if she repeats/clashes/doesn't look like a miniature model in my instagram feed.


BUT- I have a least one rule that keeps me from flying off the deep end:

I don't buy anything full price. 

Never. (unless some sort of extenuating circumstances force me to. Such as: those jammies are so cute and I just have to have them....)

I wait for 30% off sales at Old Navy, and stalk the clearance racks at Target, but my favorite deal source- by far- is Once Upon a Child.

OH- you guys. This place is my jam. If you're not familiar, it's a resale shop just for kids. We have a few here in Pittsburgh, and several in Columbus. They buy used clothes (for like a penny per item....hardly worth it, in my experience), and resell them at a pretty discounted rate (compared to new). They're pretty strict on quality, so most things are in great condition, and sometimes they even have the original tags. It's become my new routine to hit them up every six months or so, and do a full wardrobe seasonal stock up. Plus, they have a loyalty card that can earn additional discounts after so many purchases. It's like deals on top of more deals, on top of baby clothes, on top of more baby clothes. So, yeah. I'm in. (Disclosure: Once Upon a Child has no idea who I am, or that I'm bothering to write this, so alas- I'm not getting a kickback from them.)

I thought it would be fun to share my most recent haul- Piper's Summer Stock Up:

I went in with one toddler + one 20% off coupon, and came out with:
  • 10 tank tops
  • 11 short sleeve tops
  • 4 pairs of pants
  • 9 pairs of shorts (I ended up returning two...but then bought others, so we'll call that a wash)
  • 4 skirts
  • 4 dresses
  • 4 rompers
  • 1 jacket
  • 4 pairs of shoes (for a friend! I swear! except, ok, maybe I kept one pair after they didn't fit the intended recipient....)
  • 1 cranky baby (I may have pushed the limits of how long a 1.5yr old can sift through clothing racks. She did really well, all things considered...)
Check it out:


And for those of you who are geeked about the math of it all (me, Dustin...) that's 51 total items.


Impressive tally. But more impressive? The grand total was $128.40.

People. That's $2.52 per item. I'm not sorry anymore. I'm proud.

As addictions go, it could be much, much worse. I mean...just look at the side effects:


Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Show Your Real: Libby

You know the expression- "to know her, is to love her"? Well I'm pretty sure that was made up specifically for my friend Libby. I've know Lib since I was an ignorant high schooler, and in the *ahem* couple, few, many years since then, I've never met anyone who doesn't love her. And not because she's one of those saccharine-sweet girls that you can't not get along with. But because she's a real-sweet girl, who will call you out, tell you like it is, and love you fiercely in the process (and she might make you laugh until you pee your pants...that's just a bonus). She was in youth ministry for a while, taught middle school for a few years, now spends her days wrangling three little ones of her own, and she and her husband Ryan are in the process of adopting a little guy from Ethiopia. So suffice it to say, she's got some patience. And some wisdom. I'm overjoyed to have her share here today. (And because I know a slice of Libby won't be enough- head over to her blog to get to know her even better).
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When Courtney asked me if I would be willing to guest post for this series, I felt like it was God playing a joke on me. My life struggle IS showing my real. Just need to get that out there before I say anything else. Being real and vulnerable and honest is NOT the "American way," and it does NOT come easy for Libby Snow. To be brutally honest, I'll tell ya that sometimes it's even hard for me to show my real to the closest people in my life.  Like the closest, closest people. This has affected my emotional intimacy with my husband, at times. It has resulted in hearing some really hard things from some super special friends. ("you don't seem to need people. why don't you ever show that you're struggling? I can't be honest about my life with you unless you'll be honest about your life with me").  And sadly, it has resulted in me being more exhausted from people than I should be. Why? Because I have tried to be too much for too many, instead of just being real and being ME for the people God has put in front of me, such as my own 3 kids.


I'm used to making life look pretty.  I want to avoid painting an attractive yet potentially exaggerated and inaccurate picture of my life.  I love my life, but it’s not always pretty.

My oh-so-commonly muttered, stated, prayed, or even cried,  verse, from 2 Corinthians 12. "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." That's Jesus talking right there and THAT is pretty refreshing. 
Because you see, like I said, I have a hard time showing my real, which translates into...I have a hard time showing my weakness, which translates into...people probably have a lot of misconceptions about my life. 'Cause what people see about me ain't always the deal.

Here's a quick snapshot of me. I am...

  • a wife and mom, and a short one at that
  • outgoing, I guess?  (I get asked quite frequently if I used to be a cheerleader, hmm. Nope, never was)
  • organized  (really love my ducks in a row and having the coffee set to turn out at 5 AM for the next morning. I love love love feeling productive. just sayin)
  • a former junior high Sex Ed and Language Arts teacher (best. job. ever.)
  • a morning person. I'm married to a night owl, which stinks for us at times. BUT I love a fresh pot of coffee and a quiet house when the sun rises. Ryan loves popcorn and Pandora at midnight!
  • a lover of people, of food (both cooking it and eating it), of exercise, and of smooching my kids' cheeks waaaaay too often. (2 of my 3 kiddos were born with abnormally large cheeks. I am so ridiculously lucky)
  • Oh yeah, and I'm a pastors wife! Yep. And that's probably where a lot of the misconceptions on/about my life come into play


Being in full time ministry puts a different spin on my life because I really feel like our family is watched closely, even if unintentionally, by the world around us. It's a weird role to be in but I really really love it...now. The reason I really really love it, now, is because I have learned that 

...the MORE I let people see that being a mom is flipping hard and I DON'T have perfect kids, the closer to REAL, I get (which gets me closer to Jesus looking BETTER: "My power works best in weakness"). On a day that I'm feelin good about the time I've been spending with my kids, like I'm a superstar mom, one who makes great picnic lunches and plays "monster" and "motorcycle" before bed...it all goes down hill at the worst time. The day before Ryan and I get to leave for a 3 night getaway (first one like this since we've had kids), My 8 year old has a melt down and begins sobbing about how bad of a mom I am. "How can you leave me?" Don't you love me and want to be with ME this week?" So yes, I'm learning that I can't control my kids. 
   



Wait, this is your big sister's birthday party 
and you're supposed to be having an absolute BLAST right now!

...the MORE I share that I have a boat load of junk in my life that needs to be forgiven and surrendered, the closer to REAL I get. This is a new revelation for me. Years ago I thought the opposite. Share less, talk less, listen more. Right? Not always the case. People want to know I'm desperate for a savior, too. Especially my kids. They need to see that mom is wrong and that mom needs Jesus. They need to see that I have to trust Him and that I really am happy and fun and "wacky," (Ellie's words) because of the joy I have in me. (Thank you Jesus---your power in my weakness).

...the MORE I choose to appreciate the fact that if I am blessed to open my eyes and wake up tomorrow, I will once again have the mundane task of laundry to fold, a sparkling dishwasher to be emptied, lunches to be made, butts to wipe, veggies to chop, counters to be wiped--again...then I will be a step closer to REAL. Why? Because... my exhaustion and my weakness need Jesus in me to bring JOY and patience and a heck of a lot of love to my hubby and kids, in the midst of the mundane.

...the MORE I am willing to admit some fears about the fact that we're one of those families about to adopt a baby, from a country no where close to the good ol' Midwest of America, then I am pretty sure that will get me closer to my REAL. Because my feet are currently planted in Toledo, OH, and I'm in a season of life that's already busy. And this is uncharted territory for me. I need to dig deeper and trust bigger. 

The second part of 2 Corinthians 12, verse 9 says:

SO NOW I AM GLAD TO BOAST ABOUT MY WEAKNESS, SO THAT THE POWER OF CHRIST CAN WORK THROUGH ME.

So there's my real. Got one shot at this life. Learning to be ok with living it not so perfectly so Jesus can be seen better and work bigger in my roles, tasks, responses, and messes. :) 
 



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Show Your Real is a bi-weekly series of guest posts centered around the concept of authenticity. The goal is to encourage each other to expose the reality of our lives- good and bad- and to foster a sense of community that goes beyond the often suface-cy interactions of social media. We invite all of you to participate! Please comment, link, and hashtag to spread the showyourreal love. If you would like to contribute a guest post in this series, please email me! 

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Little Days: Embrace the Camera

When Piper was born, I took pictures of her every day. Probably every hour. Ok...sometimes every minute. I constantly had a lens- whether it was my big girl camera, or just my iphone- in her face. I didn't want to miss a moment of her little life. I wanted everything documented, recorded, captured.

We joked that if we ever had another baby, we were going to have to hire a photographer to make sure he or she wasn't neglected- living in the shadow of the constantly immortalized First Born. It's a cliche, but a cliche for a reason, that the oldest child has a baby book the size of the yellow pages, with every blink and coo recorded for posterity, while the second baby has a few snapshots (with the older sibling included of course). The third baby is lucky if he makes a cameo in the family Christmas card, and after that I think you pretty much give up taking pictures and just hope the kids can remember things for each other. Sure, I exaggerate, but still, with the constant snapping of her early days I was worried that I had set a prescient I couldn't keep up with.

And it turns out...I was right. Just much sooner than I thought.

You see, I've fallen off the photography wagon. But our second kid isn't due to arrive for another month and a half. I thought I'd be exhausted caring for two babies, and get a little lax on the picture taking, but before I even got there, this pregnancy has pretty well wiped me out, making it harder and harder for me to find the energy to shoot our first born....our only born. As the months go on, each computer folder has fewer and fewer pictures in it... In the beginning, I'd take a series of shots if it just seemed like she might yawn. Now it pretty much has to be a holiday for me to get out the camera.

I know Piper isn't going to complain that she doesn't have enough pictures. I still take plenty....and it's probably natural for the pace to slow down a bit to coincide with her more subtle growth now. But still. I want the pictures. I want to remember how blonde her little mullet was. How long her baby lashes were. I want to have a record of her gaped tooth grin, and her tiny elbow dimples. I know that I'll never forget these things...she is, after all, my baby...but these stages are fleeting, and I want to make the effort to freeze them for as long as possible- even if that's only possible on film.

So I'm going to make the effort. I'm going to lug out the DSLR. I'm going to roll my big belly on the floor to get a better angle. I'm going to try to rely on my iphone+fancy filters a little less, and attempt to grow my skills to get the really good shots.

I'm going to prioritize memory keeping, as much as I hope I'm prioritizing memory making.
For her. And for me.












Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Life with a Baby: Six Month Must Haves

I realize that I now have a 1.5 yr old (that's 18 months!) and the last time I did a round up of gear she loves was over a year ago. Rest assured, we have not gone a year without buying things....copious amounts of things....No, we've been hard at work keeping the tiny wheels of baby consumerism greased. So it's about time we shared what works for us, in case it's helpful to any of you following in our footsteps. 

It seems that the 6 month to 1 year time period marks a whole new world of baby stuff. Everything we had been using and loving sort of fell by the wayside, as Piper's growth and new abilities left us with different needs than before. The main difference is that around 6 months, babies start to eat, and sit up. This means...you have to feed them. And keep them from tipping over. And...well...that's about it. Thank goodness there is gear to help!

Here are some of our favs:  

 Chow time: 
  • Travel high chair - We have a regular Ikea high chair in the kitchen, but we found having one you can keep in the car to be super helpful. We've brought ours to picnics, friend's houses, and less than child friendly restaurants- so convenient! My one caution is that the design of ours doesn't work with all tables...if the table has a lip underneath, the c-clamps won't latch on properly. I've thought about trying other types (Like this one from Chicco?) to see if they're any better. But the general concept is pretty awesome (Plus we look for ours second hand, so we're only out $25 or so if it's not perfect). We actually use ours every day on the dining room table, so that we can keep the high chair in the kitchen for breakfast and snacks. (two “real” highchairs would be overkill, but not having to move either one is pretty convenient.)
  • Baby food pouches (favorites are Plum and Earth’s best)- We started feeding Piper with mostly solid foods (vs. baby purees), and I toyed around with the idea of making my own baby food, but I’ve never really gotten my act together with it.  My sister recommended these pouches before I was even pregnant, and now I have to say- HOW DID PEOPLE RAISE BABIES BEFORE THESE WERE INVENTED?!!?!?! Seriously....they’re my favorite thing. Piper will eat just about anything as long as it comes in a pouch (I mean, she’ll eat a lot of things anyway...but anything in a pouch). Plus she can hold them herself (she was able to do that from the jump. I guess she was born to eat) so I don’t have to hassle trying to force a spoon into her mouth. They’re easy to throw in my purse, and will keep her happy for the crucial 15 minutes before our food arrives at a restaurant. Downside? Price. I refuse to pay more than $1 a pop- so I wait for the 10 for $10 sale at Babies R Us, and stock up like a hoarder. (I'm thinking about trying out some reusable pouches and making my own concoctions? Something like these or these might work....)
  •  Dishwasher safe labelsDaycare requires everything to be labeled, so for the first few months that meant we were constantly writing on things with sharpies. (they say permanent, but daily use/dishwasher cycles really test a marker’s limits). My mom got these for me for Christmas, and they’ve been awesome. They stay on perfectly, and haven’t worn a bit over the last three months. Plus the daycare ladies think we’re the most organized, genius parents around, so that’s a bonus. Plus-plus, Piper somehow learned that the labels say her name, so when we point and ask her to “read” them, she says “Bie-bo!” (her adorable rendition of Piper...) Cutest ever. (I actually just ordered some more for baby #2- no...she's not named yet, we just went with "Bowden". Use code "referral" to save 20%!)
  •  Clear matIt turns out babies are messy. When we first put Piper’s high chair in the dining room, we realized quickly we needed to protect the floor, or say goodbye to the rug. So for the first few weeks we laid trash bags down under her chair, but that wasn’t exactly the best option. We finally got out to the store to pick up this simple mat...the only version without licensed characters all over it. (Why do we need Mickey on our dropcloth?)
  • Snack cupWhen you become a mom you quickly become an expert in finding the one or two things that will keep your kid quiet and happy in emergencies. For some kids that’s a blanket, or a pacifier. For Piper? It’s food. She loves cheerios or “puffs” (basically expensive flavored cheerios), so being able to chuck this cup at her in the car saves us many a cranky ride. I won’t lie to you though- the lid doesn’t actually keep them contained...it pretty much just prevents them from spilling out if she tilts the cup. She manages to make her own mess by shoving her hand in, grabbing a fistful and yanking it back out, sending puffs flying everywhere. But she’s happy. So I am too. Even if there is puff dust all over my car.
Tub Time:
  • Duck bath tub-In the beginning we used one of those plastic recliner type tubs, which was great, until Piper could sit up, and need a bit more room to stretch her legs. We could have just set her in the tub, but all that water for a little tyke was overkill. I loved how fast the duck would fill up, and how it kept her from slipping around in the tub. She loves that it quacks (she thinks it works if you hit him on the head...but I may have helped her out by pressing the sensor in his beak). It does take up half our bathroom closet (we left it inflated at all times) but he’s pretty cute, so I don’t mind.
  • Bath Animals-They are about a million bath toys out there, but I love this set. They’re cute, quirky, and you can squirt each other with them. Piper’s not a huge bath lover, so distracting her with a monkey or two is a necessary step.
  • Stacking Cup SetShe love playing with these (in and out of the bath) and they’re incredibly helpful when trying to wash shampoo out of her hair. We do have to keep an eye on her to make sure she’s not drinking the bath water though....Why is that so tempting for kids? Yuck.
Other times:
  • Night lightWe originally had one of those “plug right into the wall” kind, but after a few months of bending behind the chair with a baby on my hip to turn it on (or poking the switch with my toe) I realized we needed a better option. I’m obsessed with this little mushroom. It has a cord to charge, but then you can sit it anywhere, and simply push the top to turn it on. Love.
  • Diaper Genie Elite-We did without this “registry necessity” for the first half a year. But then? Piper began to eat solid food. And her semi-harmless baby poop turned into full out harmful human poop. Enter- Diaper Genie. I know people balk at the expensive custom refills- I was hesitant to get one, thinking we could save SO MUCH MONEY buy using a regular trash can with regular bags. But guess what? Regular trash cans, with regular bags stink. I’d need to be saving a lot of money to make that worth it. And then I’d probably spend it all on air freshener anyway. And now that we have one? I’ve barely noticed how much we have to change the bags (and by “we” I mean Dustin. He’s the poopsmith of the family). We’re certainly not bleeding out money on it. (P.s. Spring for the elite model. It’s got a foot pedal and the design greatly reduces how much you have to actually handle the dirty diapers. Worth the $5 upcharge)
  • Alphabet mats-You know I tried to resist the primary colored explosion that seemed to be inevitable with kids. But then Piper started sitting, and it seemed weird, (and unsafe) to just plop her on the floor. So we bought a set of these puzzle piece mats and made a few dedicated “zones” around the house, where she could sit with her toys and be 5% safer if she tipped over (not sure they’re saving her life, but they do add a little bit of cushion at least...) Now that she’s running all over the house, we’ve kept them in her play corner as a landing pad for all of her toys. 
  • Maclaren Quest Sport Stroller - She loves this thing! Has never ever cried to get out of it. That my friends is as ringing of an endorsement as you’ll ever get. It’s light, it’s easy to maneuver, I wish it came with a cupholder or two....and there’s my review. Simple.
  • Fenugreek-Alright, we’re getting down to the real nitty gritty here...But let’s be real. Pumping while working full time is a labor of love. Especially in the 6-12 month zone when the baby is starting to eat more food, and the desire to pump regularly begins to wane. (I mean, if that desire was ever truly there. For me, it was more of a necessary evil). I struggled a bit to keep up my supply as Piper grew, and my lactation consultant recommended Fenugreek capsules. You have to take like 9 a day, and they do make you smell a little like syrup...but that’s not all bad, right? I’m grateful for remedies like this that made it possible for me to nurse Pips for a full year. (A goal that was important to me. But to each her own, etc. etc. no judgy-face.)
  • Hair bows- Just because everyone asks...Piper’s little felt bows are from the cutest little etsy shop (look for “newborn baby girls bitty hair clip felt bow collection”). Yes, you can make your own...but c’mon, support handmade, and spend the extra 15 minutes with your babe.
So there you have it: What got Piper (ok, us) through the second half of her inaugural year on earth. Anybody have things we missed out on? (Turns out we're going to get another shot at this whole baby thing!) I'd love to hear what worked for you!
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