The Longest Arm

Overambition, laziness, busy-ness…(a three pronged hybrid?) Whatever you want to blame it on, the fact remains- my quilt isn’t done yet. BUT- though the project has laid dormat since the move, there was a time when it was still at the top of my to-do list (or at least higher than the rest of my to-dos that weren't nearly as fun). So hop in the way back machine (set to: early April) and let me tell you a quaint little quilting story...

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Have you ever used a long arm before?

Wait…have you ever heard of a long arm before?

Admittedly- I hadn’t. (I don’t need to explain- again- how far out of my depth I am with this quilting thing, do I?)
But when I embarked on a queen size quilt project, I realized pretty quickly that sewing even a simple quilting design on my home machine was going to get problematic.

Enter- my friend Jen, and her adorable grandmother.
And her adorable grandmother’s adorable attic turned sewing palace.

 (There was about 8 times this much storage. Fabric for daaaaaaaaayyyyyysssss...)

Jen is part of the quilt-along (was part? Is it over?), but unlike its inept founder (me) she actually knows a thing or two about quilting, so she offered up her skills and equipment if anyone was interested. Um…yes please! I signed up in a heartbeat, and by that I mean, I forced my ambitions on her repeatedly through email, and she finally gave in and agreed to show me her stitched up ways. 

Seriously though- Jen is incredibly talented, and equally kind, so I was thrilled that she was willing to help me make my way-too-big dream come true. And it turns out, she comes from good stock, because her grandma was just as talented (ok…maybe even more. It’s a better-with-age thing) and sweet as can be. She was also incredibly interesting. Gram's a fiesty little lady, who has three kids and a slew of grandkids (only one of whom has caught the quilting bug). She's married to an adorable man who tinkers about with his own projects, and stops by occasionally to give her a a good matured ribbing about her mess of a studio. The three of us listened to Neil Diamond on Pandora, and chit-chatted like girlfriends about working (she still works as a daycare teacher), crafting, raising babies, and a ton of smaller subjects while we (they) set up the machine, pressed various projects, pinned layers, and general made quilting awesomeness. For those few hours she adopted me as her own, and I was all to happy to soak up her wisdom and perspective (no life as much as quilting).

  Look at her. Making magic for me! 

Sneak peek! Lookin' sweet, right?

I’m not 100% sure what was in it for them, letting me invade their space for hours, borrow supplies, ask silly questions, and all around inconvenience them…but I think they’re both just quilt enthusiasts, who love to support others who appreciate the art. And I’ll admit, it’s not the most common hobby amongst the under-60 set, so I think Gram was extra pumped that one of Jen’s at least semi-cool friends shared her passion.

These kind ladies took me under their wing…their long-armed wing…and let me goof around with some crazy expensive machinery, and I loved every second of it. Jen even let me wear her telephone-cord/belt/scissors contraption, so I could trim threads in style. I was a little nervous about running the machine myself- it’s gigantic, and intimidating- but they gave me a quick tutorial and I was on my way. I originally planned to do a diamond pattern, but in the end went with a straight stitch in variating distances, and I love the way it turned out. It took a couple of hours in total- there is some set up time, and some futzing around making sure everything is perfect time. (futzing=a super technical quilting term).

So after a fun afternoon chatting with a couple of crafty ladies, I gained a new skill, and left with a 90% finished quilt, ready to be bound. (and there it sat for another three months…but who’s counting?)

They tried to convince me to go for some freestyle stitching on my 

real quilt vs just this a scrap. Heck no, ladies. I (sometimes) know my limits.

I’ve got about a million projects to do around the new house, but my sewing stuff is officially unpacked, so I’m hoping I finish this beast sooner than later. I’m aiming for before the first snowfall. In the meantime- check out this longarm in action. Riviting, I know.

Quilt-along: Learning the Long Arm from Courtney Bowden on Vimeo.

Show Your Real: Elise C.

Show your real time (is my favorite time!)

I’m so excited to introduce you to Elise.
She’s a blogger. An artist. A photographer. And a mama.
(Among about a million other things.)

And in general, she’s a girl after my own heart. I seem to always have a few (too many) irons in the fire, so I love how passionately she pursues so many of her interests. And it doesn’t hurt that she’s incredibly talented. I’m thrilled that someone who is so inspiring is also willing to be real. 

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How does the idea of "Show Your Real" resonate with you..why did you want to participate and share?
I think there is a misconception that "typical lifestyle bloggers" are hiding the "real" in their lives... I don't think that's true! Instead I think "they" (including me) are sharing some of the bright parts and working on creating fun content. That doesn't mean life is all bright and fun, it just means that that's what they want or feel most comfortable sharing. But everyone is human - we all have crap days and great days and boring days and exciting days - recognizing that is so important.


What misconceptions might people have about about your life at first glance?
I think people might assume it's all upbeat rainbows and that I have boundless energy and never make craft mistakes. And NONE of that is accurate. I get bummed, I feel drained, I mess up all the time. But writing the blog has actually helped pull me out of funks, given me energy and helped me push through on craft disasters. I'm grateful for that and love that I have a place online to share.

What are some of your patterns and routines for a “typical” day?
The only REAL pattern is that I work hard to stay ahead so that on any given day I don't HAVE to sit down at the computer to do anything. That email? It can wait. That blog post for tomorrow? It's already written. I work really hard to stay a bit "ahead" so that  when things go upside down (as they often do) it's not a stressful situation; it's just life. I am a Planner (capital P) and so keeping organized helps keep me sane(r). It also let's me embrace whatever routine Ellerie (my one year old daughter) has figured out for that day.

What does the balance/mix of work/chores/family time/rest/etc look like in your home?

We currently have 9 hours of childcare a week and during those 9 hours plus Ellerie's naptime I crank out full-time work. It's intense! But I really love my job and it's a priority for me that I am able to keep at it. I do my best to have "work" wrapped up when my husband, Paul, gets home so we can hang out as a family or I can just lay on the couch and read after Ellerie goes to sleep and Paul has to study (he's a medical resident). I don't sacrifice sleep for work - ever. That just makes me unhappy. :)

What things have become “your real” now that the you from the past would be surprised about?
I can't believe how much free time I used to have. That is what I think about every single day. WHAT DID I DO ALL DAY LONG BEFORE I HAD A KID? I can't even imagine it. I think now I work harder than I used to and in theory, I am "spread thinner" than I used to be, but it doesn't feel that way. Life feels intense but inspiring.

What are the hardest parts of your current season of life? And the best parts?
The hardest part is having an idea and not begin able to just run with it. I used to have hours, days and weeks to myself (my husband is in the military and deployed twice in our first three years of marriage). It was lonely, of course, but I actually enjoy being alone and so I did surprisingly well with all that time. These days I don't have that "free" time as a luxury and so when something creative and awesome comes up I have to schedule how to work it in. It's different and took some getting used to.

I am at a good place though. Having a baby has helped me to figure out what's actually important in my life and what isn't. Work related, I take on projects that make the most sense for our family and I let the rest go without guilt. And Ellerie is at The Best age. I am totally of the belief that every age is the Best Age and I am loving watching her grow.

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Show Your Real is a series of guest posts centered around the concept of authenticity. The goal is to encourage each other to expose the reality of our lives- good and bad- and to foster a sense of community that goes beyond the often suface-cy interactions of social media. We invite all of you to participate! Please comment, link, and hashtag to spread the showyourreal love. If you would like to contribute a guest post in this series, please email me! 

To the mom of two under two

You there... With the babies... A brand new one, and one that seemed so small just five minutes ago? I see you. And I hear your struggle. Oh my goodness, do I hear you. 

You see, my kids are 19 months apart (19.5 months if you want to get technical), and the beginning was madness. Sheer madness. I was constantly overwhelmed by what I deemed a mess of my own making (I had wanted two kids close together, hadn't I?) and I remember asking myself all the time: "how do people do this? So many people have two kids, why am I unable to manage?" But the truth is, I was able to manage. And the other truth was, it was hard for everybody. So the comparisons were a waste of time, and inaccurate at any rate. 

As everyone says, it takes time, which is the least helpful thing ever when you're in it deep (and with 2 under 2 you are indeed in it deep), but it's true.  A friend who has a 19-month-old texted me this morning, to tell me she doesn't know how I did it; tending to the crazy tantrums and whims of a toddler, while handling the incessant needs of a newborn. And I laughed. Because I don't really remember how I did it either. I do remember a lot of sweating. And a lot of crying. From all of us. 

And now that my youngest is one, I can tell you that there is a reward for all the literal blood sweat and tears, and it is s, so worth it. The kids play together. Like, together on purpose. And they make each other laugh. And they console one another. And sometimes...they even share. 

So you may be in over your head for a few weeks, or months, or like me- the better part of a year. And frankly, to some degree I believe I'll be in over my head until the kids leave the house, and maybe even for a time after that. Motherhood is hard. Mothering two is not twice as hard. It's infinitely harder, which when factoring in the starting point, is to say: infinity times infinity hard. So if both of those kids are alive at the end of the day? You have done it. Because accomplishments in new-mom terms are things like survival, remembering to eat at least a couple times a day, and remaining on speaking terms with your husband more days than not. 

Celebrate every small victory, and try to let the perceived failures wash over you, because I can promise that a year from now, you won't remember the millions of tiny ways you didn't stack up against some imagined ideal of mom perfection. You will, however, stare at your life in a strange mix of pride and astonishment, asking "How did we do it?" But also: "How the in the world did we get so incredibly blessed?"

And when you get momentary glimpses of that feeling sooner- soak it up. Because the exhaustion is real, the fear is real, the guilt is oh so real, but the moments-fleeting though they may sometimes be- of absolute unparalleled joy? Those are real too.

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Finley Faces: 11 months

Piper is learning to count, and for the most part, she’s got the whole 1-10 thing down…Except for the little detail of “ten” itself. She counts quickly and with pride, building anticipation when she gets to the higher numbers- seven..eight…nine………[big dramatic cliffhanger moment]…and then explodes with the big finish: ELEBEN! (yes, “eleben”. In addition to numbers, we’re still working on our “v’s”.) So she’s close, and frankly, to excited with herself for me to break her spirit too much with corrections. I usually nod and say, “Close! It’s TEN!” in as excited a manner as possible. 

Why do I tell you this? (besides my blanket assumption that everything my kids do/say is irresistibly adorable and needs to be shared). Well…because I, like Piper, have a little bit of an issue with counting- at least when it comes to baby milestones. If you’ve been following along, I counted off Fin’s first few months quickly and with pride, but then as we got to the higher numbers-  seven..eight…nine………My pace slowed, and the dramatic pauses increased. I managed to make it to TEN…..and then……[big dramatic cliffhanger moment].

I should have been building to my big finish of twelve, somehow got stuck on silly “eleben”. So in better late than never fashion, (aka, Courtney’s motherhood milestone mantra), I present Fin’s 11 month Faces. Only one month late. 

It’s taken me a while to compile the photos, as they languished on my camera card for weeks (don’t ask me about my USB port. We’re in a fight), but the problem runs deeper, as my monthly diary to Fin was suffering as well. I attempt to write bulleted letters to her each month, with highlights of what she’s learning and doing at each stage, but it’s been a struggle to keep up. It’s discouraging sometimes to feel like she’s off and running (recently, almost literally) and I’m chasing her with film and a notebook, trying not to miss anything. And while I juggle my pen and my camera, (or more accurately probably, just my iPhone), I’m trying to keep my hands free to hold, and comfort, and catch, and encourage, and support her. I’m her mother and her biographer, and her playmate, and her statistician…always running out of hands, time, and brain cells. 

But we keep on keeping on (my other motherhood mantra, so it seems), and I give myself perspective pep-talks, knowing (hoping) that years down the road, she won’t be critical of how often I journaled, or how timely I posted updates. She won’t lament that the photos from month three have some rough lighting, or that month four’s list is a little sparse. She won’t compare me to a mythical Pinterest conglomeration of nostalgic scrapbooking perfection. She won’t ask me where her bronzed baby shoes are (nowhere) or what I did with the footprint art daycare constantly sent home (I took pics. I think…) She’ll probably forgive me (or thank me) for not plopping her on a chair every month and photoshopping pithy saying on a fake wall. I don’t think that she’ll be nearly as hard on me as I am of myself. If I’m lucky, she’ll understand, and just be thankful that I tried. And someday, when she has babes of her own, she’ll know that trying is what we mamas do. Every single day. 

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Dear 11 month and some weeks + days baby Fin, 

You are a whole lotta things...and I'm working on recording as many of those traits as possible, but for now- let's talk about one that's pretty special: You’re really understanding when it comes to how I record your milestones. Ok. I know that’s cheating because you don’t even know what a milestone is, but I have so much silly mom-guilt about this. I started the monthly lists when your sister was born, and though I don’t have a perfect track record with hers either, it’s getting harder and harder for me to keep up as time goes on. It might be a second kid thing. It might be that we moved. Or it could be the new job. Really…I think it’s all of those things. But I hate to think that I might be shortchanging you somehow, or missing recording such important memories. I don’t want you to ask me someday when you crawled, or what your first word was, and have me look at you with a blank stare while I fail to remember. And I definitely don’t want to rely on your baby book (slash blog) for the info, only to look it up and find nothing there. So I try to jot things down whenever I get the chance, but it’s such a struggle. Not because I don’t like writing about you- actually, it’s quite the opposite. I adore gushing about you. So much so that when I sit down to write these lists I my fingers can’t even keep up with all the things I want to say. I try to at least get the highlights in there, but it’s tough to do because if time weren’t a factor- each month’s list would include 172 items. Truly though, if I’m honest- I tend to be too hard on myself. I compare what I’m doing with a imagined hybrid of the best scrapbooker/photographer/writer moms out there, and constantly think that I’m not doing enough. But I can promise you, that I marvel at you…truly marvel…every day. In the beginning it was actually all day every day, but now you’re on the move and tolerate slightly less googley-eyed staring on my part. Stop being all lame and weepy, mom…I want to play! So you may fall victim to the second child syndrome occasionally, but I still have a head, heart, and camera phone full of vivid memories of you. You’re not my second kid. Or my youngest baby. You are my chubby legged, wide-eyed, sweet voiced, cuddle-bug, one of a kind Fin Fin, and I love you so specifically, and so deeply, that there will never be enough words to describe it. 

Xoxo, 

mama

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The first 10 installments:
1. 2. 3. 4. 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Finley's First Fete

In honor of Fin's birthday- one week away!- I wanted to share our first "birthday" celebration we held for her. This post was originally written September 15, 2013. (And finally finished last night. If we're lucky, her actual birthday will be documented in the same calendar year in which it occurs. No promises.)

This weekend we had a special little gathering at our house...to celebrate this little lady's first birthday!

Confused?

Well, it's a little tradition we've latched on to, marking the milestone of "9 months in, 3 months out". So though we only met Miss Fin three months ago, she's been with us for a whole year now! And since I need almost no excuse to throw a party, this seemed as good a reason as any to host a get together of our nearest and dearest.

And though it's a fun milestone to celebrate, I had to remind myself it's not her actual birthday, so any amount of effort in planning a party would be overkill (you know, even more overkill than elaborate parties are for real first birthdays. Excessive on top of excessive). It made the most sense to host it at our house vs. going out for a meal, because then the older kids could play (Fin is amassing quite the clan of older "cousin-friends"). So I agreed to keep it low key, and we planned a "Sunday of Sundaes". Just a few close friends, and a whole lot of sugar. I figure it's best to keep it casual, especially when the guest of honor might not even wear pants.

It was pretty much madness as we wrangled babies and toddlers who I swear were babies five minutes ago. So we didn't get a ton of pictures, but we managed to prioritize a few pics of the "birthday" girl before she fell asleep or puked on her outfit. (for you sentimental folks- it was a dress I designed, and her sister wore on her special un-birthday too.)

 Her hands kill me. Not to mention her face. 

 Seriously. The faces.

She was wide-eyed as ever, and tolerated the chaos and attention well...until...she didn't.

But her fury was short lived and she crashed peacefully on her daddy.

It was a bit more hectic than her sister's party, just over a year and a half ago. By the end we had a living room covered in toys, the boys were out back playing some sort of game they dubbed "smashball", Piper was crowded around a never-discarded Home Depot bucket with her friends, forming a subway-style toddler band, and we were organizing a KFC run for those still in attendance. So there wasn't much time for waxing poetically about what this community has meant to us, and no formal toast thanking them for being the net that gets us through the craziest parts of this life we've been blessed with.

But as they all scooped up their babies, or even just someone's baby, chatted between sticky bites of shared melty ice cream, and helped keep most of the popcorn chicken from ending up on the rug, I'm pretty sure they got it. We couldn't do this without them, and are beyond grateful to have this family of faith alongside us for the wildest of rides.

Happy Birthday, Fin. You are so very loved.

All moved in. Kinda.

Happy Friday!

Thought it would be fun to share another video from our move. Quick (ok, 5 minute) fly throughs of the house are proving to be the easiest way to capture the full scope of the crazy, and the fastest way to share it out. I've taken pictures along the way, but they don't seem to do it justice, and nothing beats the simplicity of an iPhone video uploaded via wireless.

You can tell from the title- we're all moved in! Well.....sort of. We got our stuff in the house at least. And some of it's even in the right rooms! This video is from Friday of Memorial day weekend, so it was about 5 days after the movers left, but we had yet to actually stay at the house (for reasons that will be obvious.) I've moved a million times (ok...maybe a dozen) over the years, but this is our first full-fledged house-to-house move, across state lines, with all the trappings of a family of four (where at least two of those four are certified hoarders.)

And on that note, I just have to say...if you have ever moved, and I didn't show up, bring beer, unpack boxes, watch your children, adopt your dog, and order in dinner, then I sincerely apologize. Moving is No Joke. For me, it definitely falls into the "Things I Never Want to Do Again" category. I wonder if it's like childbirth, and after it's all over you forget the pain? Hard to say, but I can assure you I will not be ready to do this again in 19 months.

I was on my own for this tour, so (un)fortunately you don't get to see me with a dirty ponytail, squinting at the camera while I ramble. I also forgot to tour the basement (again), but I do give at least 30 seconds of puffer vest fodder, so we'll call it even.

 

All moved in. Kinda. from Courtney Bowden on Vimeo. 

We've made a ton of progress since then. But it's meant working for a couple hours every night after the kids go to bed, and relying on family to watch them for a few weekend hours to give us some uninterrupted time. So it hasn't been easy. Or quick. Or overwhelmingly fun. But we're getting somewhere (meaning I can see- most of- the floor, and have yet to loose a child in any of our temporary trash heaps.) We'll take that as a win, and keep plugging away. 

Thankfulness Thankful-list

I’ve been brimming with thankfulness recently, but haven’t always done the best job expressing it. Plus, there have been about a million tiny annoyances that come with uprooting your entire family’s life and subsequently building a new one, that can easily threaten to steal my joy if I’m not careful. Yes, it’s annoying to not have a refrigerator (long story, but don’t pity me too much- we do have an old one in the garage, so complaining about taking 4 extra steps outside to my fully functioning, jam packed with nutritious deliciousness appliance is totally a white whine. Also…I have a garage. Like- a entire extra indoor space, attached to this other thing I own, in which I put more things that I also own.) But even with those pesky mini-problems, it’s still pretty much awesome to be me. Not because I’m awesome. But because I’ve been awesomely blessed. 

  

wait..some people put cars in their garages? weird. 

Every day I have at least one moment where I look around and am just struck silent by how great our lives are. Maybe it’s shallow, because plenty of the gratitude is for material things, but hey: gratitude is gratitude. I’m aware of how enormously lucky (blessed) we are to have a healthy family, great relationships, a strong marriage etc. but my brain can’t fully comprehend privilege of that magnitude, so instead, I take note of the little things- crunchy ice, new striped bins for our shoes, the possibility of convincing Dustin to take up birdwatching with me….

I don’t want to drone on about our awesome-awesomeness like a parade of our riches, but I do want to consciously pay tribute to the great stuff about this life stage (and you know I can’t resist the opportunity for another list!) It’s hard to quit jobs, switch schools, and leave friends, sell a house, buy a house, start new jobs, get new doctors and insurance, and utilities, and….everything. But underneath the thin layer of hassle, and thick layer of exhaustion, is a core of so good. 

So here is a (hopelessly incomplete) list of things I’m thankful for in this moment. Plus some iphone photos that are only somewhat related. (Because I'm lucky if I can even find my camera, let alone use it. And forget about uploading them. That requires a cord, and free time, and....Ok, back to the list!)

• Our daycare providing meals- meaning, in the morning we can still throw a couple of (thawed) frozen pancakes at those two teenage piglets disguised as children, but if they don’t eat them all, or they choose to turn them into scalp exfoliant (Fin…) then they’re guaranteed another meal or two (or three) before dinner. 

Skyline time!

• Our backyard is so stinkin’ great. I could weep I love it so much. So much eating, and drinking, and water-tabling has already happened, and it’s barely June. 
• My super cute new water bottle. (sure, it sweats and leaves a little ring on my desk, but it makes me feel like I’m a little plastic French person). 
• This birthday card I found six months later. It makes me so happy.

• Booze in grocery stores. One stop shop. 
• Free audiobooks from the library. It’s like reading in the car, but safer, and less vomit inducing. 
• The game Piper and Fin invented that I’m pretty sure is called- “I’ll jump on the mattress, while you hold on to the bed railing and bounce, and we’ll both laugh and shriek and laaaaaaaaaaaaaugh some more, while mama gets 5 minutes of ironing done”. As of yet- no one has been irreversibly harmed during its play, so it’s officially sanctioned in our home. 

This photo defies all explanation. Oh how I love these goons.

• Sunshine. Oh so much glorious sunshine. For the last few weeks, it’s magically rained on weekdays, and been STUPID gorgeous all weekend. Yes please and thank you.
• People tripping over themselves to watch my kids. Or at least not rolling their eyes when I ask them again for help.

These little blue moving stickers are on pretty much every thing we own. 

Including baby bums. 

• WiFi, and DVR. It’s been a while. 
• The guy at work who plays an extremely eclectic smattering of music every afternoon on full-blast as a part of what I believe to be a total request live- office version type situation. I’m still digging into details on how to participate, but so far I’m 100% benefiting from being in earshot of (aka: on the same city block as) his speakers.

•  Neighbors who stop over just to say hi.  And invite us for beers. And share their sidewalk chalk. And drop off welcome soda. And MOW OUR LAWN. (Seriously. That all happened. I think we moved into Pleasantville.) 

• Coke Zero. Forever and always. 

P.s. Someday I’ll return to blogging regularly, and in non-list form. Maybe. Or I might just forget the whole thing and instagram pics from my deck.